Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Looking through his phone!

Well last night, after eating a tasty chicken sausage and salad dinner I settled comfortably into my soft leather couch, a new magazine and nothing to bother me all night. I figured an early night was on the cards after having a couple of late ones over the weekend.. Speaking of which, don’t ask me how I ended up meeting Wolfmother, Powderfinger and Gyroscope (Bands for the misinformed) during a fishing trip! That’s right, late on Saturday evening I was walking home, when I saw a bloke standing at the top end of my street. Under his arm a fishing rod and esky in hand. Waiting for a lift I figured. So I said good-ay as I passed, and thirty minutes later we’re standing on the wharf, line in the water, testing out his latest batch of homebrew Bourbon. If that’s not strange enough, after a few to many tantalising tasters we throw the gear on the ute (SUV for the American’s) and head home, unfortunately or fortunately, for reason’s the authorities tell us not to drink drive; We find ourselves walking into a quite looking pub at the far end of town. What we don’t realise until much later and much drunker, is that at the back of the pub is a large beer garden full of after party goes from the music festival which was on earlier in the day .. So with our fish stink on and all, we slipped in and begun to take full advantage of the Tab… Random!

But alas this isn’t so much about Saturday, as it is Monday night. How crazy can a Monday night really be? Around 9pm I receive a message from a guy I know from back home. He suggests we head out for a drink, as the torrents style room mate back packer is scaring the shit out of him and he needs to calm some nerves. I guess a couple should be in order, and I’ll message Miss Humanitarian later to catch up when she knocks off work. Excellent idea and perfect excuse to go home at a reasonable hour I figure.

With this plan in tact I head off, and before I know it I’m at The Vic, a hotel known for $3.50 meals and colourful games which generally attract large numbers of back packers. Who I might mention is ready to do anything for a free jug of delicious oak soda (Beer), and this generally means some sort of nudity. Tonight was no exception by any means and the place is packed full of rowdy foreigners; it was going to be an entertaining night. Triva, the game… would eventually lead to semi nudity and table top dancing as everyone in the pub swings to the tunes of Aqua – Barbie Girl. That’s the type of place this is, with 5 jugs up for grabs, the mood was high.

After sitting back and just taking in the atmosphere, I message Miss H to catch up. She replies saying that she has two guys with her (Customers) who wanna be shown the town. I’m obliged to say bring them along, I have no reason not to. “I’ll be there shortly” she replies, eventually I message back after some time asking if she’s still coming, and in a couple of minutes she shows up, two men in pursuit.

I didn’t question her much about what took so long, but for some reason she spills some crazy excuses. I accept them without much thought, but I won’t lie, I did sense myself feeling slightly insecure (Okay for better understanding, Miss H and I have been having a “thing” which is scheduled to end the day I fly out, and without taking things to serious I have no grounds to get jealous). Anyway I pass it off, especially when I look around the room and see what other potential is on sale tonight..

The plan was to head home, but it becomes obvious we’ll be staying a little longer entertaining our new guests.. Who sort of join the group periodically, but mainly standing to the side. I don’t mind so much, it’s a good night and the beer is starting to take hold of my love handles and shake them all about. I’m on the verge of dance mode for sure!!. Anyway, still getting to the point, at some stage I head off to the little boy’s, tinkle time. Strangely when I’m standing over the urinal I make a realisation, I’ve left my phone on the table. What an awful feeling, I know it’s safe, but I feel almost naked!

What’s worse though, is the discovery I make as I approach the table. I can see she’s fumbling though a phone and without doubt I know it’s mine. I silently make my way over being careful not to be noticed. I peer over her shoulder, to watch as she scrawling thought my outbox..

This doesn’t work for me at all, it’s not that I have something to hide.. well maybe just a little, but a text message has no context does it. Further to the point it’s just plain invasive. Usually I guess I would make a big deal about it. I’ve sworn before that if I catch a girl doing this sort of thing it’s an instant dismissal. In this case though, she’s young and obviously insecure, I’m supposed to be leaving, and this isn’t supposed to be serious.

So with as much grace as I can give I just explain it’s not cool to be snooping though someone else’s phone. I’ve done it before, and I’ve had it done to me. Most times it just leads to undue heart ache.. And if she’s doing it to me, it just means she doesn’t trust me.

I mention it to my mate who’s oblivious to what had just happened over the loud music and frantic crowd. He empathizes with me, and almost makes out like it could be worse then cheating. But hey, i'm irritated but this isn’t supposed to be serious. I dropped the subject figuring I might have a chat to her later.. Before I knew it, it was one o’clock and I was only just getting home..

I didn’t bring it up again, just doesn’t seem like it was worth it. Would love to hear how others feel about people going through someone else’s phone though. I expect if your in a serious relationship like married or something, it’s nice to be transparent.. But otherwise it's a no go zone.

9 comments:

Kez said...

hmm. Seeing as you and Miss H are only having a "thing", then she has no right to be snooping because you haven't been seeing each other for that long. If she's doing that this early in the piece, it's a little concerning!
Obviously, I can offer the "married" point of view and in my relationship we share everything so it's not uncommon to borrow each other's phones or know each other's email passwords. Just knowing we can check at any time actually stops us from worrying. Also, why do you need to if you trust someone, anyway?
Hmm...what ya gonna do, Apple Juice?

Juice said...

Get on a plane fly back home, and do what i usually do... I think you know me well enough to know i can't do "relationships". Like I said I'm not going to do anyhting about it coz it doesn't matter. I just wanna know if others have had previous experiences.

Anonymous said...

I've been there. Sometimes insecurities gets the best of you when you think that person is trusting you 100% and then they play the 5 w's game. Where were you? Who were you with? etc. etc. I'm in the same boat as you, single and trying to get with the whole tacky relationship thing. Sorry to all those who are in one, nothing wrong with it, but it's just not for me.

Rab said...

Been there, done that, and I'm not proud of it. Only felt more guilty when I found a message he'd written to a friend saying how happy I made him. Ouch. It wasn't a trust thing though, I think it was more curiousity. Early in a relationship you seek out clues as to what makes a person tick. We're not together anymore, but still great mates...

I would hate it if I caught someone doing it to me. I don't think there's any excuse.

BloodRedRoses said...

I actually think that snooping at any time, whether you're having a 'thing' or are actually in a relationship is totally uncalled for.

If you're just having fun, why would you need to know who else the person is talking to? If you're in a relationship, you should trust the person enough not to snoop through their msgs when they're not looking.

I had it happen to me which is probably why I feel this way. I had nothing to hide, but it's just the principal of the matter! Don't go through MY stuff behind my back!!

I'm done ranting for the day :)

ZoomZoomZoom said...

i also think looking at each others' stuff is simply asking for trouble. even though one is in a relationship, he or she is still allowed a private personal life.

btw. LOVE 'barbi girl' and just listened it right this instant.

Pretty Unfamous said...

I agree--It's like an invasion of privacy. If a boy-of-interest feels the need to look through my phone, he obviously doesn't trust me. It's just rude.

Sounds like you had an interesting and fun weekend, though!

as clara is said...

Snooping's snooping. That said, curiosity can be evily persuasive - some people have too many dead kitties.

Anonymous said...

Going through someone else's phone is an absolute no go! Even in a serious relationship you still need the right to some privacy. If the other person directly asks and explains why he or she wants to have a look at your phone, fine. But no snooping. I've never gone through my boyfriend's phone (and he's never gone through mine) and we've been together for over 4 years. It's a matter of trust.