Save The Territory... Seriously!

Darwinians are bracing themselves today as reports of an imminent attack approaches. Yowies of various sizes have been rumoured to be converging on the eastern bank of Adelaide River, some 50kms from the town centre. Amongst the nervous, some townsmen armed with pitchforks have been reported to be rallying outside parliament building today, holding banners which read;

‘Feed them the homeless, save the dogs’.

NT self proclaimed Yowie expert, David Doubelivtis has urged Darwinians to stay vigilant, but claims the Yowie may have been misrepresented by the press, ‘They are not here to kill our dogs, just snack on the occasional head’, he has claimed. Later in a press conference with Animal Rights Groups he agreed a clean up of the undesirables may be beneficial too the wider community and may also help save young Baxter, the cheeky G-banger munching pooch and others like him.

One txt to the editor read:

‘50km ban on Yowie’ name withheld

A proposal already being considered by the NT government for the bewildered crocodile, a ban could be extended to the Yowie. The ban, another knee jerk reaction to the two tragic deaths of Territorians who, late last month were taken by large reptilian creatures from the fourth dimension.

These deaths were not so much a surprise as it may seem. One victim, a 20 year old father of two was taken late one night after being warned that drinking other people’s alcohol was bad. Two men, one being the late victim, were reported to have witnessed ‘a big black crocodile stalking them along the bank’ before entering the water in an attempt to swim the gauntlet.

It has been recommended by professional experts that some well placed makers could be the solution to the Crocodile and Yowie epidemic. ‘These markers will be placed amongst the river systems and land marks at the 50km line with large crossed circles. Within the cross, it has been proposed that two well illustrated figures of the Crocodile and Yowie will be placed.’ One expert was reported saying. A Politian of questionable ethic’s confirmed, ‘Darwinians have been around much longer than the crocodile and Yowie alike, it has been a shame to see Darwinian’s forced out of the waters and the focus is to make a safer territory where Darwinians can swim once again’. ‘Just think’, he went on the say. ‘Young lovers will be able to picnic amongst the mangroves once again without fear of the Crocodile or Yowie’.

The public eagerly awaits the decision likely to be passed at the next upcoming election. Meanwhile it is recommended to drive the homeless towards the Crocodiles and Yowies.

MAKING THE TERRITORY A CLEANER SAFER PLACE TO LIVE.



PS. Note for Frank.. what ever did happen to the one with a suggest black swimsuit?
PSS. Note the awesome braid!