Bookfaced with boredom!

Reed: Why dont you come to canada! We could do a documentary!

Dewse: Yeah I can see it now..

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The Lion's den - Writen by Juice
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Narrator: Deep in the alpine forest lives a Lion,

Camera pans in on Reed sleeping deep in the alpine forest, butterfly circles his delicate whiskers then lands, his lip twitches then reed jumps to life growling furiously at the camera.

Reed: Growl... (In French as it has a sexy time essence...)

(note: grammy right here)

Then a young attractive lady named Bon Appétit, clad in nothing but forest leaves enters from the side of the screen, a wind blows up and the leaves rustle leaving a hint of fleshy goodness..

Bon Appétit: Oh Lion, you big.. and powerful creature you.. (Spoken in broken English with French accent)

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"Cut!!" Reed shout's across the set, "Dewsey, it's supposed to be a movie about epic adventure where I can display my uncontained talent, not another sweet porno"..

"You do not like my director" (French accent for aesthetic reasoning) Dewsey shrugs across his directors chair with a complexed expression on his face..

What can he do to turn this movie.. It's brilliant, oh the shame to lose it here.

"It's not that, it's just I was hoping to get good money for my sterling ability as an actooor".. Brenton throws his fist from his chest and into the air.. eye's fixed on the lofty clouds above. (Very emotional)

"Hmmm" Dewsey muses, then thumbs thoughtfully at his luscious moustache.. "Yes Reeeeed, you are right! We need more drama and suspense. I have an idea" and he set's off to the directors van..

Three minutes later...

"Okay" he muster's, "take your places" winking at Bon Appétit, and licking his lips with seeming delight.

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"Action"..

Reed: Well thankyou Bon Appétit, I am a very powerful lion. And you..(The words linger in the air like the scent of a freshly plucked rose peddle) You are a beautiful lady with fair skin and wild hair.. Oh but not down there (His eye's glance down), I did see when the wind blow through"

Reed chisels a hansom thick jawed grin at her, Bon Appétit blushes and palms down the leaves shyly.

After the resent downfall of the "Teletubbies", a popular children's show on prime time television,Tinky Winky, a once famous actor became suddenly unemployed.. Longing to break into the world of movies and show his more masculine persona, he was ecstatic to hear a small new Canadian adventure film was interested in him for a role. He was later reported saying in a interview with Oprah: "I've watched Rambo a couple of times, It's probably my favourite movie at the moment. And you know what Oprah, one morning after a heavy night snorting eight balls off a cheap naked ladies chest, I looked into the mirror... I didn't see Tinky Winky anymore.. No I saw a new breed of Tinky Winky now, a stronger, a tougher and basically better freak man.. A quickly painted myself in blue and pink fluoro SP30+ zinc which I had lying around in the bathroom. A red hanky tied neatly around my head matched my blood shot eye's and I screamed into the mirror..Adrianne!!!!. Instantly I knew I had what it would take".

Tinky winke (Who is sporting a Flynn style pencil Moe) enters the screen from the left, large deadly sword drawn in his right fist.

Tinky Winky: This women is mine you see, you have no right taking her from me!

The sword waves dangerously in front of Reed..

Reed: Does this coward with a sword speak thy truth fair lady with the perkiest of breasts?

Bon Appétit: Unfortunately this is true strong lion, I was a present from his crew.

Reed: F*#K

Tinky Winky: Prepare to reach thy end oh dearest Lion fool..

Reed: You twat!, I have no use in fighting you, you are but weak and fleshy, an easy meal!

Tinky Winky: But I'th have thy sword laced in LSD... You sir.. Are no match for me!

Tinky Winky swings violently at reed's head narrowly missing his handsomely huge square jaw and jams the blade hard against the tree..Bon Appétit gulps loudly, Reed moves with hast, licking the flat of the blade profusely.. then, with precision gives Tinky Winky a round house kick to the face, Knocking him, and his dangerously sharp sword to the ground..

Reed: Hahahahahahaha (The laugh grumbles from deep inside his belly) Quiet contrair dear good sir you are but... no match for me!

Reed then turn's to face Bon Appétit..

Reed: Dearest gentle women, who has'th come to thy for reason I do believe.. May I fondle thy sweet breast..

Bon Appétit's eye's widen in shock.. she points timidly with her finger..

Bon Appétit: Heee...Heee... Has thy gun good Lion

Reed turns..

Reed: Oh F*#K!

Tinky Winky: You don't think it would'th been thy easy do you?

Reed: Well for a second there.. I did!

Tinky Winky: Hahahaha

Then out of no-where, well no not no-where, Out of the pond close-by, leaps a HUGE Great White Shark.... And on it's back, covered in nothing more then a flimsy pink bikini rides Johnston! The Shark loops forward through the air doing an impressive full revolution, then comes down on Tinky Winky head first and in one swift bite, swollows him whole!

Johnston: Gooday'th guys

Reed: Hahahah

Bon Appétit: Hahaha

Johnston: Hahahah

Narrator: And they lived happily ever after..

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The curtain's close and the crowd cheers wildly, reverbarating thoughout the great hall... "It's a master piece" they shout, "Pure genius" another is heard.

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And thats that..

Dewse