Mum's, who wants them?

Okay last week I was talking about shifting around all the time, and what it means for me. What I see and do, maybe it’s not for everyone, but for me I’m happiest when I’m doing something other then the mundane. You know, I kind of wonder if I should have done it years before like most of my friends did. Because sometimes I feel I might be to old, and just maybe I should be settling down.. (as regular readers would now already know; “Marry a good Christen girl, build a house and have a family”). But then I keep having the same realization, if I put it off any longer I’ll miss what I can still enjoy.

This was made somewhat more apparent this weekend. Somehow my mother convinced me that she should visit for a few weeks, and that it was a good idea! Unaware of her intentions, I agreed, but what I was really doing was letting myself be trapped for two weeks. Needless to say I think every mum can be at some stage perceived from this ugly angle. Her good intentions make you feel more like a 12 year old wanting to go outside to play with his toys, rather then the independent 24 year old you might be!

So as you can imagine, I’m half way through the two weeks and already I’m looking for some comfortable hotel just around the corner I might be able to send them to. She’s definitely not helping by pushing her bias uneducated opinion’s on me. I mean my mum is the kind of person who believes every forward she receives on the internet. So when she decides that she could run my life, I find myself rather unconvinced.

Anyway in short, after a fun filled weekend I find it almost unbearable to listen to the continual whine, which sounds more like the dreadful screech of a 2 stroke on full gas then a human being! “I should have done this when I was younger” she suggests, like it’s a new-fangled idea! My head explodes with bewilderment. I mean I swear my old man suggested this for the best part of 20 odd years, and now he suffers in his own resentment! Poor fella!

It’s times like this out in the bush, when the world reveals itself to you through its beauty. The emotion’s come rushing into your heart, and that’s when you make this type of statement. A statement compelled by truth. Here she is, feeling weary from the tiring day’s walk; when she realizes that she can no longer appreciate the fullness of life.

But tomorrow things will be different, as the moment passes, her program will recent. I sit at the other end of the table having lunch in the galleria. She’s harping on again “Marry, house, kids..”. I find this conversation tiring, and I know it only has one type of ending. My step dad does his best to diffuse the situation, but like me, he knows it’s pointless and he tries to keep his comments to himself. Eventually I give up, glance at my phone “I have to get back to work” I say as I get up and leave. I feel her words pierce me as I walk away, and fill me with uncertainty. Of course I care about what she expects from me.. But it’s just not me.

So in this bubble filled with self doubt, I trudge along picking up the pieces the best I can. I keep relying on my own dad’s advice, and his regrets. They feel like my own mistakes and I promise to myself that I won’t make them again.

But on a lighter note, I find myself smiling. I dive into the cool depths of the water hole. It tastes fresh. I hold my breath as I slowly sink to the bottom, there’s nothing, no sound. What a place to be, I’ve never been any where like it. As I surface I see another group of people coming down the rapids. I had actually noticed them earlier, as they circled the car park looking for a spot. It was a group of young back packers, and now they played carelessly in the cool refreshing rapids in front of me. They support nothing other then a small swim suit and a heavenly tan. There bodies glow with health, a reflection of there lifestyle…

I’m spell bound by the thought that a group of random people just picked up and not taking a care in the world start travelling. As i was sitting in the water reflecting I found myslef picturing what it might be like to do something myself. Food for thought, and I’m not sure what it means. Maybe a road trip to end all road trips!

One thing I do know for sure, and that is that I’m leaving Darwin in June… Strangely I don’t want to leave, but the options are weighing heavily towards Perth, as my house mate has decided to leave.

Could be worse I’m thinking. I’m pretty partial to the thought of catching up with a few peeps at the Bakery!

And as for what happens next.. Well there is a rumour that Zac and I could be up for another round of road trip madness in the big blue!!